Day 12- I am good energy, unbound

Here is the brick wall: this one is built with less gumption, less shine, than the patriarchy. The Patriarchy has White men in pressed suits–Lobbyists and such–patrolling the parameters.

The Patriarchy’s wall has a room built into the wall so the White men can view those below.

This brick wall has a haphazard design– it was whipped up without any cement, so really, it’s just a stack of bricks.

To take it down you have to be really careful–one wrong brick could make the whole thing fall. Behind that wall are spirits. And if the wall falls on the spirits they may never get up again. This is a wall that when it falls in just the wrong way it has the capacity to destroy.

We don’t want to smash it, break it.

We want to dismantle this wall brick by brick, in collaboration. Working together.

And that there is the hardest part– learning how to let go of being right and hurt feelings and fear to just, do. Take action.

I accept that I alone cannot change, that I cannot change other people.

But I also accept the call– the job– to take down bricks.

Start with the ones that are already loose.

Love&Hope.

-J.

Day 11: I reclaim

“…just as the stolen body exists, so does the reclaimed…But how do I write of my body reclaimed, full of pride and pleasure?” (Eli Claire, Exile and Pride: disability, queerness and liberation, p. 153).

For me, I feel it, unafraid. Energy running up and down my spine, getting caught in fear, massaging it down to the my feet, to the earth. I connect with it, the pain, which isn’t really my pain, but the pain I carry when I witnessed hard things. I accept, I surrender, I reclaim.

I am continuous.

Day 10

“To live life in the spirit, to be true to a life of the spirit, we have to be willing to be called on–often in ways that we may not like…we must not pretend, make it seem like living a life of the spirit is easy. On the contrary: living the life of the spirit is difficult. It is not a life that is about how much people like you.” bell hooks, Teaching Community: A Pedagogy of Hope, p. 158-9

I am grateful for those that listen to me, challenge me, and receive me.

But I know that not everyone does… some people don’t like me, and so they cannot receive me, or challenge me, or even really listen to me.

Sometimes I come on strong, with a loud voice that’s hard to argue with. I shut people’s lines of communication down– that, not my voice, not my opinions, is something that I need to learn how and when to use, because it’s a gift, my ability to speak out, but I need to hone it.

Day 9

“I define peace not as the absence of war, but as the presence of justice and the absence of fear. There’s peace when people don’t have to be afraid. And people don’t have to be afraid when there is genuine justice.” -Ursula Franklin, as quoted in Ursula Franklin a pioneer feminist, pacifist, scientist and social justice fighter by Judy Rabick (Rabble Magazine).