If a peahen can’t reproduce with the peacock she wants, she chooses not to reproduce at all. But it’s not just about procreation in the animal kingdom. Sometimes swans fall in love with boats. How is it our place to delegitimize that love? Why? Because it’s not heteronormative? That swan will never have a biological baby with that boat, but if that boat blows away, she will cry for days and years. And she might also choose to never mate again.
What I’m saying is that even birds get broken hearts and have a hard time imagining love with somebody else once they’ve made their choice. Sometimes we choose birds that fly away. Sometimes we choose boats that were never ours to love.
Sometimes we fall for people who inspect buildings for their ability to withstand earthquakes. We keep them at arm’s length so they don’t discover that we can’t withstand even the smallest shake. Because we live on a fault line. We are at increased risk of breaking.
(reflections from Elizabeth Grosz, Becoming Undone: Darwinian Reflections on Life, Art and Politics, 2013).