It’s not so much stuck, I’m not stuck.  Stuck looks like an inability to get out, move. Often when you’re stuck, you know where you’d like to be, you just can’t get there. I think stuck is much more frustrating. Like the other day when I was stuck in a tree. Getting unstuck is a great process, but that’s not what I need to process.

I move a lot, I change a lot, like a lot a lot.

It’s something else.

I feel like I can hear everyone else moving about in this other space, this other area– they come to me, I can’t go to them. I know this other area exists, but I can’t get to it.. but everyone thinks that I am. like that I’m already there. I get the strangest feeling. At grocery stores, at the library, at the university, at work, like I’ve somehow made it, out. And no one knows. That I’m still. Something like being on the other side of where everyone else is.

And so I think, I think, maybe I’ll understand these feelings (something like not being able to breathe the oxygen I’m told is right for me and mine) when they arrest him. Maybe that’s why I’m being contained—

or is detained?

Or is it suspended?


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